Friday, March 12, 2010

Forgiveness

So after writing the last post I realized there were a few people I needed to send it to.  I sent it to my brother and to my dad.  Now Im going to get real here and tell you about my family.  I grew up in an emotionally abusive home.  The abuse came from my dad and my brother (who learned it from my dad).  After about 4 years of not talking to my dad we started emailing every few weeks.  I was still not real sure how to talk to him and was afraid to let that part of my wall down.  I was always scared that he would find a way to hurt me again. 

My brother on the other hand is in jail right now.  He said about a month ago that he had gotten saved.  But then I recieved a letter from him that said the same hurtful things he always said to me.  Well I wrote my brother telling him that I forgive him and asking him to forgive me if I had offended him in anyway and just told him I wouldnt take the abuse anymore and sent him a copy of the tres dias post.  I should get a letter from him in a week or so. 

Well then I sent one to my dad.  I told him that I forgive him for all the hurt and pain.  I also asked him to forgive me for all the things I said and did in the past.  I told him that I didnt know if I was ready to see him or not but that I would keep praying about it ( I havent seen him in about 4 and a half years).  After I sent the letter I prayed that he would have a softened heart while he was reading it and that his response wouldnt be hurtful.  I went into it with absolutly no expectations of what would come from it.  I sent it for me not for him. 

Well tonight when I got home I had an email from him.  I started reading and my heart was filled with joy.  The things he said to me were like they came from a different man.  I didnt recognize who this person was.  He said he had forgiven me a long time ago and that he had forgiven my mom.  Then he said he loved me.  My dad had never, in 26 years, said those words to me.  I still dont really know what to do with that except thank God.  Thank God for opening my dads eyes, softening his heart and preparing the way for me to take down that wall.  

I still am not sure about seeing him.  I will continue praying for that.  I plan on sharing this news and the tres dias post with my mom on monday.  Again I'm going in with no expectations and Im doing this for me not for her.  But there is forgiveness that needs to be known for her and asked from her as well.  So I will let you know how that goes.  For now Im utterly amazed by God.  It just goes to show, God can fix things that we think are too broken.  He can restore broken hearts and broken families.  God is so good!!!! 

2 comments:

  1. Yes He is Melissa!!! This post just made my day! I am so happy for you Melissa!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. God is soooo Good!!! God is in the restoration business Melissa!! Love ya!

    ReplyDelete